Sin Worth the Penance Page 13

  “Uhh…how ’bout ‘The Wind that Shakes the Corn’?”

  He grinned. “That’s a good ‘un.”

  I didn’t have ta think about the words. I’d sung the song since I was a wee babe. Sung it to my da to calm him, at times. It was a sad story about an Irishman telling his lover goodbye before he leaves for war. While in each other’s embrace, his lover is cut down by an English soldier. It was beautiful and one of my favorites. Amazingly, the horde quieted as Mick began to play. Usually I sang with my hands laced behind me, as my chorus teacher taught. But with my cast, that wasn’t possible. I wasn’t sure if I could sing it any other way. I was glad to find it was one of those days my voice sounded decent, and I soon got caught up in the music. I strolled about and touched various customers’ cheeks as I sang to ’em, which was my habit. The boys loved it for some silly reason. I realized after a bit Killian was staring at me, leaning back in his stool, fingertips brushing his pint glass on the bar. I walked slowly, deliberately toward him. His gaze was mesmerizing, drawing me to him like we were playing tug o’ war, and I weren’t trying too hard. When I got close enough, I slid my palms over his thighs as I again moved between his legs. I was at the last verse, the part where the Irishman is burying his sweetheart and he hears the wind as he did the day he said goodbye to her. Killian grabbed me behind my legs and gathered me closer. As the song slowed at the end, I stroked his face and leaned in to kiss him after the last note. Shouts and whistles rent the air. Apparently, everyone approved of Killian and me. I stood for a moment, lost in him, then spun to the others and waved them off.

  “Go along with ya.” Some were still watching us. I shooed ’em away again. “Go on, now.”

  When the majority returned to their drinks and conversations, I turned to Killian.

  He cleared his throat. “That was beautiful.”

  I immediately flushed. Embarrassment is not something my pale Irish skin hid well. I dropped my head. “Oh. It is nothing. The boys like ta fool around, is all. So, ya know,” I shrugged. “I sing.”

  He curled a finger under my chin and lifted it. “It was beautiful, like you are.”

  I squirmed and tapped his cheek. “Someone’s had a fraction too much to drink already.” I moved away before he could protest. “I need to go earn me some money. I’ve been off for too long.”

  I exhaled as I rounded the corner of the bar, muttering to myself. “Oh, Bridey-girl. Ya have it bad. You better reel it in before ya break your own heart.”

  Killian

  Bridey’s homecoming brought people out of the woodwork. I hopped behind the bar with Paddy to help him out but would occasionally catch sight of Bridey out on the floor. I wondered how a one-armed waitress would do, but she was, as usual, amazing. She rigged up this little holder for her tray, getting the idea from her sling. It hung from her neck. She needed to come behind the bar to get her drinks, because the tray was too low to reach for the bartenders, but she somehow made it work. Even weaving through tight spaces between tables. On her break, Deir’ helped her take the tray off, and she rolled her neck around. It had to be killing her, but she was still her pleasant self to the customers.

  A few minutes later, Rory McDermott flagged me down.

  “Need another pint of the black, my friend?”

  “Do porn stars have fake tits?”

  “I wouldn’t know for sure, but my guess would be they do.”

  When I brought it, he said, “C’mere to me.”

  I drew closer.

  “Is Bridey all right?”

  “What do ya mean?”

  “Well…look at her.”

  Bridey was resting her rear on the back bar with a bottle of water in her hand, but she was staring off into space and she appeared…terrified. It wasn’t until she squeezed the bottle and some squirted out onto her that she stirred, coming to life again. She quickly glanced around, and I let on as though I wasn’t watching her.

  Rory leaned over the bar more. “See what I mean?” His brow was furrowed with concern.

  “Aye. Thanks for telling me, Rory. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

  A few minutes later I sidled up to her. “How are you doing?”

  She smiled at me. “Great.”

  “Getting tired?”

  She shrugged. “A touch.”

  “Turn around.” She studied me, her lips quirked, then did what she was told to do. I massaged her shoulders.

  She sighed. “Oh, my Lawd.” We were facing the mirror in the back bar, and I could see she’d closed her eyes. “Ya are a god, Killian Murphey. An absolute god.”

  I bent to whisper into her ear. “That’s what you’re supposed to say after I take ya up on that tempting little invitation you put out there earlier.” I was being bold, but she brought out the devil in me. The horny devil.

  She popped her eyes open, and our gazes connected in the mirror. Her heat, the one she always stirred up in me, burned through me like the time we first kissed in my bedroom and she warned me I was playing with fire. Paddy walked by and broke the moment, but not before we exchanged a knowing smile.

  The rest of the night flew by, and soon we were headed out the door. “You don’t have to sleep at your house, you know. You could stay with me. I’ll act the proper gentleman and take the chair and you can have the bed.”

  She took my hand. “Are ya coddling me? If I get anywheres near ya and a bed tonight after all our talk, we’d be done for. Either I’d be with ya in that chair, or you’d be with me in the bed.”

  I stopped walking. “Hold on. Let me live with those images a moment longer.”

  “Come on.” She tugged on me. She looked out in front of us, her face taking on a more serious expression. We were quiet for several moments. I could tell she was thinking out something to say, so I let her have the time. “This is something I have to do, Killian. I can’t let them take…everything from me.” She stopped and faced me, scrunching her brows together. “Do ya understand?”

  “I understand.” I brought her knuckles to my lips. “But that doesn’t mean I like it much.”

  She started walking again, her gaze darting from side-to-side, jaw tight. “I don’t like it much either, but it’s something I have to do.” She brightened. “But, you know what? It won’t be bad because you made it safe again by laying down with me.”

  “In that case…I’d be happy to do it again.” She glanced over, and I wriggled my eyebrows.

  She smiled. “You’re one persistent fella, aren’t ya, Murphey?”

  “That I am.”

  We strolled farther, our arms swinging between us.

  Now it was I looking ahead. “Ya know…I really like the way you say my name.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Killian?”

  “Well, that, too. But Murphey.”

  She thought about that a moment. “How do I say it?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. But it rolls off your tongue in a sexy way.”

  “Sexy?”

  “You’re blushing,” I teased.

  “Damned fair skin,” she muttered.

  We continued on in silence. I thought about how much happier I was with her in my life.

  “Can we have a serious talk?” she asked.

  “I doubt it.”

  She chuckled. “No. Come on. Honestly.”

  “All right. I’ll do my damnedest to remain serious.”

  “Hmm.” She checked the street before crossing, though no one was out at this hour. “I don’t have a lot of faith in that.”

  “Nor should ya.”

  “Ugh. Ya make it hard.”

  “What? Wait.” I stopped and turned to her. “I can be serious. What do you want to talk about?”

  She looked off to the side and back, hunched her shoulders and said, “Us?”

  “Ooh. My favorite subject.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “I was serious.”

  She dropped her head, collecting her thoughts. I kept my mouth shut. “Killian…rememb
er when we first kissed?”

  I brushed my thumb over her hand. “How could I forget it?”

  “Killian,” she blurted out. “I’ve been with a lot of men.”

  She looked so pained. I wanted to change that and make her laugh instead. “Tonight?” I let on I was shocked.

  She smiled but released me and whirled around to shuffle down the path to her gaff. “You’re impossible.”

  I chased after her, grabbing her hips. “I’ll be good. I promise.” I spun her to me and kissed her nose. “I don’t care about your past, Bridey. Only our future together.”

  She scanned my face. “So you’re fine with dating the town whore.”

  I pressed my lips together, taking a step back, a flare of anger making my voice tight. “Don’t say that.”

  She threw up her arms. “Why not? That’s what everyone else will be saying.”

  “They seemed pretty comfortable with the idea earlier.”

  She stared down, shifting her weight to her other foot. “Aye. That surprised me.”

  “Can we finish this conversation inside?”

  “If ya want.”

  She started to unlock her door.

  I stepped up, putting my hand over hers. “May I?”

  She seemed confused. “Sure?”

  I wanted to—first off, because she was struggling with the cast to get the key in the door. But, what was foremost in my mind was getting between her and anyone who might be lurking in the dark. I turned the key, let the door swing open, and immediately switched on the light. She didn’t say anything.

  I didn’t want to sit on the bed, as it seemed a tad forward, but there was no place else to sit save the kitchen chairs, and they were stiff, and I wouldn’t be as close to her.

  “Come here,” I murmured, drawing her to the bed. We sat on the edge together. She brushed at something on her lap but seemed preoccupied.

  “Bridey….” I exhaled. “I think I know why ya slept with those men, and it weren’t entirely your choice.”

  Her gaze shifted repeatedly from one of my eyes to the other. “What do ya mean?”

  “I mean…Tommy—”

  She jumped off the couch, not easy to do one-handed, and stood facing the other direction, rubbing her arm above the cast as if she were cold. She felt guilty about what she did, and this was a real problem for us.

  “He made ya sleep with his friends, didn’t he?” I said gently.

  She whirled around, her mouth hanging open. She licked her lips. “How…how did ya know?”

  “I…” I glanced down, “heard.”

  She brought her hand to partially cover her mouth. Then she spun so her back was to me again and took a few steps forward. She turned halfway, running her fingers along the top of one of the new kitchen chairs. “It wasn’t just them.”

  I slowly got to my feet, not sure where this was leading.

  She bounced her open palm off the top of the chair rapidly. “There were other men. Men he owed money to.” She put a fist to her lips. Then tried to cover her face with the hand the bastards didn’t bash. “I’m so ashamed.” She sobbed.

  I moved toward her and grasped her shoulder, but she jerked away. “No.” She twirled around. “Don’t ya see? Ya shouldn’t be with me. Every second you’re with me taints ya.” I took a step forward, and she retreated a step. “You…you should go.”

  “Bridey…”

  “No!” she shrieked, throwing her arm out to the side. “You should go. You should get away from me. As far away as possible.” She shook her head, and her voice came out small. “I was such a little fool.”

  I didn’t know how to handle this. I wanted to hold her, but she kept moving away.

  She lifted her face, and the anguish on it struck me to the core. “He threatened to kill me if I didn’t. And I hated it!” She stumbled back, bumping into the wall. Her gaze darted about, but I don’t think she was seeing anything. “I hated them mauling me. Hated every single touch. And I grew to hate him, too. The man I thought I loved.”

  I shouted in desperation. “Bridey! Look at me!” She obeyed, and her eyes were wild and full of tears. “He’s gone. I’m here. What he did was wrong. You are not to blame.” I didn’t mean to say it, but it came out. “I love you.”

  She blinked rapidly.

  “I love you,” I said more softly.

  Her voice was choked. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did, Killian. For making myself unworthy of that love.”

  “Don’t say that.” I peered off to the side. I needed to make her understand. “What he made you do—that wasn’t you. That’s why you hated it.” I stepped closer, and she didn’t retreat. “I love the woman you are with me. The woman who loves stray animals.” I wrapped my fingers around her arms. “The woman who made me laugh when…I didn’t think that was possible anymore.”

  She moved forward and stroked my cheek. “Oh, ya poor man.”

  I took her hand and turned to kiss her palm. I moved it over my heart, covering it with my own. “He can’t come between us. I won’t let him.” I brushed hair from her face and drew her to me, kissing her and tasting the salt of her tears. Laying my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes, wanting to take all her past pain, and all my past pain, and throw it over the cliff like I had Jo’s ring. I wanted a fresh start for us. “Won’t ya come back to the pub and sleep beside me?” I wanted that so badly I could taste it on my tongue.

  She lifted her shoulders. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Believe me, I want to something fierce. But…the way I feel about you…I felt that way about no other. I might have thought I did, but that pales in comparison to what I’m experiencing now. I want to respect that. Respect you. Respect us.” She leaned away to look at me. “I want to take it slowly.”

  I wanted to take her slowly. Painfully slowly. And hard and fast. I wanted to take her in every conceivable way known to man. But…for her sake, I would wait. I nodded. “All right. If that’s what you want.”

  She laid her cheek on my chest, and we stood that way for some time. But, after a while, she leaned into me more heavily.

  “You’re exhausted.”

  She nodded.

  I separated from her. “Ya need to get your sleep. It’s been an incredibly long, but wonderful day.” I glanced about the room. I hated leaving her here. “Ya’ll lock the door behind me?”

  She bobbed her head again.

  “Do ya need any help before I go? Need me to arrange the bedclothes for ya?”

  “No. I can get that. I just…have trouble with my clothes.”

  I blinked. “Ya want me to help you take off your clothes.”

  A slow smile spread across her face. “Aye.”

  My spirits lifted. “I can help ya with that.”

  “It’s just…buttons are almost impossible with one hand. The nurse needed to help me earlier.”

  I took hold of the front of her shirt. “These buttons?”

  She nodded, biting her bottom lip.

  I unbuttoned the first one, then slowly worked my way through the rest getting more and more turned on the further I went. After I released the last one, I slid my arms around her, along the soft skin of her back, then kissed her, sucking on her lip as I drew away from her. We kissed a couple more times, then I looked at her as I pushed the shirt from her shoulders. It got stuck at her elbows, but I sort of forgot all about it when I saw her breasts peeking over the top of a lovely, black, bra, with scalloped edges. I brought a finger to trace the line of the curves, around, and down, and up again. She sucked in her breath.

  “Mmm.” I kissed her again, pulling away with each one. I grazed my thumbs across her lush lips. I stepped away, took the cuff of her good side, and slid it off. She twirled slowly so the shirt came away. Before she completed the circle, I stopped her to lift her hair and sweep it behind her shoulder. I brought my lips to her neck.

  She tipped her chin. “Oh.”

  I knew in about two seconds I was going to lose it completely.
I carefully worked the shirt over her cast and dropped it to the floor.

  She took my hand and led it to the top of her jeans. I closed my eyes.

  You are going to be the death of me.

  When I opened them again she wore a smile a mile wide. Until I slid my fingers beneath her waistband and ran them out to her hips. She closed her eyes this time, again drawing a sharp breath. I worked the button free and slowly unzipped her while staring into her now open eyes. I kissed her again, thoroughly enjoying our little dance. Placing my palms on the outside of her legs I lowered myself on to my knees in front of her, parted the denim, and nibbled at her skin above her panties, rolling my tongue to new sections and nipping again.

  Threading her fingers in my hair she let her head drop back. “Oh. My. Gawd.”

  I grasped the jeans and coaxed them down. She wiggled her hips to help me round them and her pants fell to the floor. I skimmed over her body with a featherlight touch, drifting from behind her thighs upward, until I was cupping that fine ass of hers. Raisimg my gaze, I asked, “Sure ya want me to leave?”

  She laughed. “No.”

  I worked my mouth along her stomach again, intending to go further.

  “But ya should.” She pointed her toes and stepped out of the jeans, kicking them away.

  I leaned my forehead on her. “You’re cruel.”

  She brought her fingers under my chin and lifted it. “It’s not a life sentence.”

  I stumbled to my feet, so turned on I considered begging. She crossed the room, and all I could do was watch that sweet little tush get farther and farther away. She pulled the door open a crack and held it with her foot while she switched the house lights off and the outdoor light on. She opened it wider, hiding herself behind it. When I came even to her, I played with her hair. “I’m going to have all kinds of racy dreams about you tonight.”

  She grinned. “Good.” She stretched to kiss me. “I’ll see ya in the mornin’.”

  My voice came out deep. “Good night.”

  The door clicked closed behind me, and I heard her lock the deadbolt.

  I sighed and ran a hand over my face.

  She is going to be the very death of me.