Sin Worth the Penance Read online

  She stared. “What?”

  “Will you dance with me?”

  She looked around. “What? Here? On the cliff?”

  I nodded.

  “There’s no music.”

  I drew her to me. She fit against me so well. Her lips, on her upturned face, were inches from mine. “We don’t need it.”

  I began to move. Not as slick as Paddy, mind ya, but I was going to muddle my way through it.

  “But…but…I’ve never danced before.”

  “What? Never been to a dance?”

  She shook her head. “Never. Well, almost, once.”

  “Almost?”

  She gave a half-laugh. “It was one of those dances ya invite your da to.”

  “So he came?”

  She stared at my chest. “He meant to.”

  I waited.

  She fiddled with a button on my shirt. “He got all dressed up and everything. He looked so handsome. …But he stopped at the pub. I waited…cause he said he’d come. When he got home and found me crying, he was angry, and…yeah.” She left it unsaid and laid her cheek against my chest again.

  It pressed on my heart, the image of this little girl waiting for her da, then beaten when she cried over him not coming. It also made me angry. Who does that to their child? I swallowed and tried to look down at her, but she was too close.

  I took her hand and extended our arms. She surveyed me curiously. I hummed a song. I think it was from Sleeping Beauty. I tried to remember the steps from a dance class Jo and I took, which was a hilarious failure because neither of us was gifted with grace. I counted in my head, moving up one, two, three, back, one, two, three, side one, two, three.

  She laughed. “You’re a horrible orchestra.”

  I chuckled. “I know.” I lost track of my steps and was forced to stop and start over. “Now, wheest a minute, would ya? I’m trying to count my steps.”

  “Oh.” She followed my lead beautifully, and we twirled around our patch of grass. I held my hand up for her to spin under. “Ooh, I like this dancing.” She stroked the side of my face.

  “That’s very distracting.”

  “Is it now?” she teased. Then she undid a button on my shirt and kissed my chest. “What about this?” She undid another button, kissing again.

  I was instantly tight as a drum skin. “Uhh…well…that’s quite pleasant.”

  “Is it?” She began to incorporate her tongue.

  “All right.” I stopped and pulled away. “This needs to stop or I’m gonna throw you on the grass and take ya in front of Paddy and Deirdre.” She glanced at their room, and I did, too. The pair were going at it like teenagers.

  “I don’t think they’re looking.”

  I growled. “I will have ya then.”

  She laughed and broke away. Bent, with her hands on her thighs, she continued to cut up, moving backward. “Not. A. Chance.” With the last, she turned and legged it out of there.

  I chased her down, grabbed her about the waist, and swung her around in a circle. I set her on her feet but kept her trapped within my arms. We gulped in air and quieted.

  I hugged her. “I suppose I should walk you home,” I said in her ear.

  “I suppose you should,” she replied with a sigh.

  I released her so I could walk by her side. She took my hand.

  “I thought of something. You were married, so surely you danced at your wedding.”

  She shook her head.

  “No?”

  “’It was more an opportunity for Tommy and his pals to get scuttered.” She gazed at the stars again. “Probably should have been my first inkling things weren’t what they seemed.”

  I wanted her to know I didn’t think any less of her for making a mistake with that low-life husband of hers. “We all miss signs when we’re young and in love. We want to think the best of the people we’re with.”

  “Mmm. Maybe….”

  We kept the pace slow, simply enjoying the beautiful night and each other’s company.

  “Ya know,” she looked over at me, “being with you here tonight makes those days seem like they were so long ago. Thank you for that.”

  I wished I could do more than that. I wished I could have prevented those awful things from happening to her in the first place.

  I lifted her hand and brought it to my lips. I gazed at her as I kissed it, then gave it a squeeze and lowered it.

  “Ya know, you’re the only man I’ve never been afraid of.”

  I blinked. “Well, I should hope you’d not be afraid of me.”

  “No. What I mean is…I don’t know…I can’t explain it. But even with Flynn, I always felt I needed to…be something. Something different from who I was. With you it just seems more natural. It’s quare.”

  “Well, now,” I said slowly. “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment.”

  “It is. It is.” She pursed her lips. “Ooh, I knew I couldn’t make it sound right.”

  “No. I’m glad if you feel comfortable around me, because I greatly enjoy your company.”

  Before I wanted us to be, we were at her door. She twisted, leaning one shoulder against the door, and took my other hand. “Thank you for the dance.”

  “My pleasure.” A sharp metallic noise and a thump seemed to come from within her place. “What’s that?”

  She listened, but the noise didn’t repeat. “Likely my furnace. It’s loud, but it works.”

  I frowned, trying to see through the panes of glass in her door, but no light was within. “Are ya certain?”

  “Aye. It does it all the time.”

  “All right. You’re on tomorrow again, at ten?”

  “Aye. I have to make up for the time off I had with my ankle.”

  I nodded to the house. “Do ya want me to check the place? Make sure no one’s there?”

  “Oh, thanks a million, but it’s not necessary. I heard those Americans finished their golf yesterday and traveled off island.”

  “All right, then. Be certain to lock the door behind ya. I’ll see you on the morrow.” I leaned forward and took one more kiss. She opened her eyes slowly as I separated from her and gave me a bright smile.

  I watched her in and ambled along the small footpath to the street. I hadn’t gone more than a few steps when a loud thump sounded near the front of her gaff. I spun around. No lights were on. Did she trip over something in the dark and injure herself? I hesitated, then went to the door and softly rapped. “Bridey? Are ya all right?”

  At first there was no response, then she called out. “Right as rain. See ya on the morrow.”

  Something seemed off, but after a few moments, I shook my head and left. I thought about her on the way home. She was the anti-Jo. Where my Jo was primarily shy with a streak of naughtiness, Bridey was outwardly brazen with a hidden underside of vulnerability. I seemed to find that equally appealing.

  I guess I like my women to be an interesting combination of saint and sinner, whatever that combination may be.

  Instead of turning into the pub when I got home, I made my way out to the cliff again. Lightning lit the horizon in a terrible but stunning way. I stood with my hands in my pockets.

  Josie, how I miss you. I didn’t want to say goodbye, love, but the choice was not mine. And now, I feel so wonderful and awful at the same time. She needs me, Jo, and I, her. There will never be another woman like you. I loved ya with all my heart, and, as she said, I always will. But I think I might love her, too? What do ya think of that?

  I closed my eyes, actually listening for an answer in my heart, but hearing only the sound of it beating. The sound of me living. Living on when, at one point, I had no real desire to. Yet here I was, and she was, and would ever be, gone. I removed my hand from my pocket and stared at my wedding band, thinking about the day we bought it. About the day I slid one on her finger.

  How is this right, Jo? How can it ever be right without you?

  Then I thought about dancing with Bridey in the g
rass there. Of the way my heart hurt when I saw her tears. And the way it leapt when I heard her laughter riding on the wind. I couldn’t go back and be with Josephine, as much as I might want to. But I could share the life I still had with someone, maybe….

  I slipped the ring off and placed it in my palm. It felt surprisingly heavy. Solid. I closed my eyes. The wind blew. The waves crashed. Time seemed to hang in a balance. I closed my fist.

  I love you, Jo.

  Tears tracked down my face. I took a deep breath and held it. Then I threw my wedding ring as far as I could. The second I let it go, I regretted it.

  But I also knew it was the right thing to do.

  I listened to the waves for another few minutes, then turned and walked toward the pub. In some senses, I was lighter. In another, it was like a new ache was birthed in my heart.

  Chapter 9

  Bridey

  I closed the front door and leaned against it with a sigh, gripping the doorknob. He danced with me on a clifftop. A part of me argued that I needed to try life without a man for a change. But…he danced with me on a clifftop. He understood me. We were tied together by our pain—his ache for his wife, that hole in my heart that was me longing to be truly loved by someone. Could I have found that someone at last? I told myself not to get my hopes up. We were only just discovering each other.

  I reached to pop the lights on, and a hand came down on mine. I screamed, but my mouth was immediately covered, and I was pushed against the wall, a body pressing against me.

  What the hell? I thought the Yanks were gone.

  “Keep her quiet,” a voice said to my right, near the window. Two of them were in my house. “Shite. He’s coming back.”

  “Make him go away, or he dies along with ya,” my captor hissed.

  “Bridey? Are you all right?”

  My heart raced, and I was finding it hard to breathe. I heard the distinct click of a pocketknife being snapped open, and as a confirmation, a cold point of metal nicked my throat. The man holding me leaned in so close I could feel his breath on my face. “Make your choice, Mrs. Flatery.”

  Mrs. Flatery? I hadn’t been called that in ages.

  The weight of his arm on my chest increased. “This ain’t no game we’re playing.”

  I needed to get Killian far away from here. I took a breath and fought to control my voice. “Right as rain. See ya on the morrow.”

  Please, Killian. Leave!

  I closed my eyes and said a prayer.

  “He’s leaving.”

  Thank ya, sweet Jaysus.

  “Good job, girly.”

  Oh, my Lawd. What did they plan to do with me? And who were they?

  “Wait until he’s gone,” a third, deeper voice said. How many were there?

  Our little party waited tensely for several more minutes. Out of the corner of my vision I could make out the person at the window, as some outdoor light was illuminating him some. It didn’t tell me much, other than he was shorter, heavyset, and wore a cap. I squinted, trying to guess at the features of the man holding me, but I hadn’t adjusted enough to the light.

  “He’s behind the buildings now.”

  The light flipped on, and I was jerked forward as my assailant slipped behind me, keeping his forearm against my chest, the knife at my throat. “Scream and I’ll cut ya.”

  I blinked. Four of them. All in dark clothing. One reclined on my bed on his side, braced by his elbow, his head in his hand. One knee was bent, one muddy boot on my quilt. Another man stood to his right, arms crossed, eying me.

  “Good evening, Mrs. Flatery,” the one on the bed, who had the deeper voice, said. A gun lay beside him on the mattress. “Or, mayhaps, it’s morning.” He pushed to a seated position. “Ya no doubt are wondering about our little nocturnal visit.” He had an accent. From Cork, perchance?

  The one by the window held a piece of lead pipe and was tapping it against his opposite palm. He wore gloves. In fact, they all did. His eyes sparked with excitement. My stomach rolled.

  “Wh—” I swallowed, taking a breath to make myself heard. “What do ya want? I don’t have any money.”

  The leader’s jaw tightened. “Ahh. Well that’s too bad, then. Because that’s what we’re here for. That and your spineless husband.”

  “But…but I’m not married.”

  He cocked his head. “You’re not Tommy Flatery’s wife?”

  “Aye.” I looked from one to the other. “But Tommy’s dead. Been dead nearly two years.”

  He rose. “See now. That’s a lie. I hate starting out that way.” He kicked a chair out from the table, and I was forced to sit. He lifted his foot and planted his boot beside me on the chair, leaning forward. The man who brought me over gave the ringleader his knife, and set a palm on each of my shoulders, keeping me in place. The leader held the knife out, tilting it to study the blade as he talked. “I have a boss, see. He’s a very results driven kinda fella, if ya know what I mean. My job is to get him those results he likes.” His gaze snapped to mine. “And I’m good at my job.”

  I stuck out my chin. He wanted me to eye the blade and tremble, but I’d been in too much shite in my life to frighten easily. Although, truth be told, I was scared witless. “How much money do ya need? Maybe I can get some for ya.” Surely, they were reasonable.

  “Tommy owes us sixty-three thousand dollars and some change.”

  My jaw dropped. “Sixty-three…! You can’t be serious?”

  The blow came so quickly it took me several seconds to understand why I was on the floor and my jaw hurt so much.

  “Do I seem like a man fond of spoofing?” he roared.

  Hands wrapped around my arms, and I was hauled up and slammed back into the chair. My tormentor grabbed a hunk of my hair, and I let out a yelp.

  “I’d hate to carve up a pretty face like this, but…like I said, I’m good at my job. And sometimes my job requires me to do some rather unpleasant things.” He shrugged. “But what can ya do? Fella’s gotta earn his wages.”

  He came at me, and words poured out of my mouth, running together with my desperateness to speak them. “Wait. No. Please!”

  “I’ve waited long enough.”

  “Stop!” I managed to utilize my feet and push away a fraction. “He’s dead, I tell ya!”

  He straddled me to keep me still, and his weight crushed my legs. “Hold her head.”

  The tall one—who spoke nary a word—crossed to my side and squatted, putting one massive paw on each side of my face and bracing me.

  “Give me a hand.” The man pinning my arms shifted and the third man, the one with the cap who was the lookout, came and each secured an arm.

  Oh, my Gawd! They’re going to cut me up piece by piece.

  The panic was making my mind swim. I needed to think clearly, use the survival instincts I’d counted on for so long. “Please. He was murdered by some other asshole he owed money to and dropped in the sea. He’s gone.” He sliced across my cheekbone, angling down. A stinging heat followed the blade’s path. “Please, don’t!”

  The fella on my lap scrutinized me with steel blue eyes with no life in them. He snapped the knife shut and rose, striding beyond my vision, which was limited by the angle of my head. The silent guy released me and walked away and the other two relaxed their grip some. I swallowed and shut my eyes.

  Thank ya, sweet Jay—

  Pain exploded in my abdomen, leaving me gasping for breath. I couldn’t fill my lungs. My throat was making a horrible rasping sound.

  I’m going to die. I can’t breathe! Oh, Gawd! Help me!

  It was like I was choking on glass.

  Someone, please help me.

  The room spun. I was weak and couldn’t focus, like I was sliding under the waves of the sea as Tommy’s body had.

  A deep voice penetrated the haze in my brain. “Gimme the pipe.”

  After that, my memory went hazy.

  Killian

  It seemed like I’d only shut my eyes for a second
when I felt someone’s presence. I pushed onto my elbows. Blinking away sleep, I made out the shadowy figure of a woman a few feet away.

  “Bridey?”

  “I’m sorry, Killian.” She was crying. “I didn’t know where else to go. It’s Deir’ and Paddy’s anniversary and….” She sounded strange. Breathless. Had she run all the way?

  “What’s wrong?” I reached for the light.

  “No, don’t.”

  “Don’t turn on the light?”

  “I don’t want ya to see me this way.”

  “What way? Bridey, what are ya talking about?” I swung out of bed and moved toward her. When I touched her, she drew back. Her skin was cold and wet.

  “My Gawd. You’re freezing. And shivering. Honey, what’s wrong?”

  “Oh. I don’t feel good.” She swayed on her feet. I went to support her, and she collapsed in my hands. Luckily, I caught her and managed to get her into my arms and over to the bed. Something was off with her breathing. I knew I was out of my element here.

  “I’m going to get help. You stay right here,” I said unnecessarily. It wasn’t like the girl would be running off any time soon. I grabbed jeans from the floor and slid into them. For whatever reason, I’d left my T-shirt on when I went to bed and I was glad of it now.

  I needed to cross the bar floor, circle the bar itself, and cut through the kitchen to get to Deir’ and Paddy’s room. It seemed to take forever. I rapped on their door. “Deir’?” I murmured.

  She opened faster than I would have thought possible. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s Bridey.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Up in my room.”

  Her eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything, just rushed off. She switched on the light at the bottom of the stairs. A noise like bellows being pumped was coming from above. “What’s that sound?”

  I listened for a second. “Shite! I think it’s her breathing.” I rushed past Deirdre and up the stairs, but she followed close behind. In the light, I could see what I hadn’t before, and it stopped me cold in my tracks.